Do you Not Think So Far Ahead?

I either

want to sleep
or grind.
Feel your body
someway against mine.

Do you remember
how many times 
you bent down
just to kiss me?

I am at the point
where I never want to leave your bed
where I can see your smile
inside my head
and I think
I might be

f
a
l
l
i
n
g

too
…rapidly
suddenly
and I
I—

want you.

But,
I’m terrified of
pacifying
for her.
Because she is radiance and
confidence
beauty personified
and I…
I will sacrifice
because I want her
happiness more than I could ever want mine.

But,
you give me butterflies.
Hurricanes and
tornados
wrapped up inside
lungs that swell
with each graze of your breath
too close;
your lips on my neck
you’re horrible;
and I want that again.

And we talked
about the infinity
the uncertainty
the brevity of words like
forever

But I just want to be near
you again,
back pressed up to a wall again
kissing me in
front of all your friends,
you touching me like
it’s nothing

Did you know,
at the thought of our lips touching
my heart races,
plummeting down my chest,
opening my rib cage and releasing
things like sighs as it brushes past my lungs,
until it stops in stomach,
knotting around intestines.

What I’m trying to get at is:
can I just be in your rapture again?
Enthralled and
drowning in your wonderful.

I know you hate words like “perfect”,
but you are my absolute favorite
and when I’m with you,
the worth of words like “forever”
seem to carry weight again.

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