Used & Abused

He looks at me and says,
“You’re too nice.”

And she looks at me, and says,
“That’s how you get taken advantage of.”

Because how quickly something I view as a compliment becomes crippling;
because right now,
I’m supposed to be “healing”;
recovering.

Because do you know
how many times
I didn’t stand up for myself
and took
whatever
the HELL
I could get?

The months after (you) left,
and I came crawling back,
tail between my legs,
begging for confirmation
that I was more than just sloppy seconds,
that the one who didn’t give a shit
might need me
when he dumps
whoever is filling the void for the moment.

Does she know
how I put up with a guy
begging for blow jobs
within two weeks of meeting me?
Or how I tried to be there for the guy
who was texting his girlfriend
while reviving something
I confused for “happiness”
by mouth to mouth resuscitation?

Tell me does she know
about the guy in between
who said he wanted me
and knocked down my beliefs
every
chance
he
got?

You shouldn’t be telling me,
“That’s how you get taken advantage of.”
When I already
fucking 
know.

You should be asking,
how I’m
still
“too nice”
after everything
that has happened
thus far.

 

 

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