“God, save the Queen”

Thank you
for not finding me attractive.

Thank you 
for not liking me back.

Because honestly,
that is the greatest gift
I have gotten within this past year.

It is Christmas in July,
and like every “holiday”
your used-to-be presence fills my head.

This isn’t my letter of apology,
because I’m not sorry for what I said,
how I felt.
and if you,
or her
suffered from it.
Sometimes
you just gotta deal
with what’s in print,
and take what you will from it.

But tonight,
I don’t wanna say I need you.
I would just really appreciate 
if I could talk to you.
If you could look at me,
if some guy could
and not objectify
or wanna be the one
who captures my virginity.

I need someone
to tell me
that my passion is
more becoming
than the amount of clothes on my skin,
or the way that my lipstick perfectly
lines my lips.
I need you to be the one,
to tell me that waiting is not stupid,
that I have every right to hold on,
and that this one
and the next one
and the next one aren’t right.

I don’t need your approval,
but I’d appreciate it.
I’d appreciate if you could
scare the shit
out of him.
If you could play your role
of big brother
just to make sure
I’m not agreeing to anything
because it’s easier to give in.

I need to talk to somebody
who’s more interested in the 
words coming out of my lips
rather than kissing them.
I need someone who’ll ask me questions
because they’re actually interested
in more than just skin.

Mad props to Elizabeth for marrying
her country instead of a king;
this is why
it’s “God save the Queen”
not sack her.

Because in the end,
it’s matter of saving,
and don’t think 
pushing 
or bending will
mean it’s fixed.
It’s not broken,
just rather sealed. 
This what I like to call
“virgin appeal”.

Because to love 
is to respect
and not to inject.
If and when
I’m ready
(aka: married).

The truth comes to down to this:
I never questioned your intent,
because I knew you always respected me.
Just right now,
I could real use your support,
before I lose sight of why this one thing
holds so much meaning.

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