Do you know how little the amount of energy I have put into myself is?
I have spent up so much of this life force inside me hating, missing, loving, loathing other people besides myself and have found that now I’m a state detrimental to my health.
When you expend all that energy into other people and don’t take time out for yourself, don’t step back and see how they’re affecting your life when it’s exactly that: your life, you’re never going to get better.
I guess I’m preaching to the choir.
I have spent so much time especially missing and hating what others did to me, wondering that I have stopped my growth as a person. I have lost track of who God wants me to be, and the only person who is letting these people affect my life is me.
It is time to let only my decisions affect my life.
it is time to live for me, and who God wants me to be, especially time to figure out His wonderful purpose and plan for me.
Letting go is letting God; regardless of what other people say. It’s giving something or someone up to His higher gracious power, His loving power.
Because without God’s love and grace, I don’t think I’d be able to re-build myself back up. I don’t think I could have thought that I could actually be happy on my own and have epiphanies (despite other people telling me these very words) that only I have the power over what hurts me, of who.
When you live not for the purpose of searching for “completion” (through others) and instead live to do God’s work, the only energy you will expend will bring Him glory in the end.
And, despite what people say, there’s no gore on our part to receive His glory, His unfailing grace on us.
That’s pretty amazing.
I’m sorry it took me forever,
but I want you to know healing is a process and becoming the person God intends me to be is the goal in my life right now. Faith is my main anchor.
I want you to know the only energy I have left is on me.
And that’s pretty amazing.