Since October…

This is how my heart breaks:nothing

goes your way.
There are tears

collecting in rivulets on my face

and soon I am outlined by a stream.

Doubt runs thick,

worry flows between.
I can’t help you,

I don’t know how to help you,
and I love you.
This is not a poem

where we end.

This is not a poem about anger,

or sex,

or us being more than friends
because in this moment even

“love”

can’t pull us through it
so I write to say I broke

and called out to God

and I know I’m not His favorite,

I know I’m short of the begotten,
but please help him,

help him where I cannot.
And even though nothing has gone your way,

even though you don’t believe

in what or to whom I pray,

it’s to the point where I love you,
but something greater than us

has got to fix this.