Journaling on the Blog

So, today I went to a new church with my friend Sarah. It was the first time I had been to a service since Easter and I walk toward the church only to see lawn sign with “Is the End Near?” written on them.

I’ve gone to private school. I’ve had “Rapture Happy” teachers who liked to scare students with stories of the “end times” and the rapture of Christians. When will it occur? Pre-trib, mid-trib, or post-trib? Who will be taken? Who will be left behind?

While I’ve grown up in that culture and can honestly say that I’m a believer of the one true God and his son, Christ Jesus, for the first time, in a long time, I didn’t feel scared of the end.

While I am scared of the act of dying, it is not my destination that worries me anymore. I don’t have to stick my hand up and ask to be saved every time we have a prayer. I know I believe in God and I know God loves me and has accepted me into His kingdom.

What is still awe-inspiring to me is watching others in worship. How they take that love they have for God and let it manifest itself into praise, the way they raise their hands and close their eyes seeking God’s love and guidance, reveling in the fact they are His chosen people, His children.

I am no longer worried about whether I’m a good person or not, whether my “trying” is enough. God is making me a better person, a better Christian just through my daily act of loving Him and seeking out His word. The message today talked about how to grow in our faith is just a matter of “get in His presence, live in obedience” and love others with no bounds. Show other’s God’s amazing love.

While the image of those people in worship will remain engraved on my mind for the rest of today and even this week, what I took out of the lesson the most is how by giving my life over to God fully, all my worries, my family, my career choices, my relationships, my job I can only become more buried in Him. I can only become a woman who is so rooted in God that someone trying to know me truly, honestly, will have to seek God out as well.

And to me,
there’s nothing scary about that.

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