While You’re Figuring Yourself Out

At the end of the day,
you’re not here anymore.
Whether that is metaphorical
as well as physical
is still indecipherable,
but nonetheless,
you aren’t the big brother
you’d said you’d be.

And that used to bother me.

(I guess you can argue
that still does
if I’m putting you in poetry,)
But the truth is this:

While I’m not where I want to be,
I’m stronger.
And while I’m still working out the kinks,
I know what I stand for.

When love walked out,
what did you turn to?
And I know you may never tell me.

And that’s okay,
because at the end of the day,
even if this is a fluke,
even though this is barely a thread of a friendship
and a fray of the past,
this time I’ll be just fine when you leave.

Did you know,
I’m learning how to quiet the anxiety that used to keep me up for hours?
Did you know when my head hits the pillow,
I now have peace?

Because when I walked away from love,
I went back to belief.

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