if life was like a book,
you would have just been a chapter
and I could’ve closed it,
moved on
found closure.

to some people
I “fabricate” things,
turn people into characters
and pull out the pieces that seem
“most promising”
like all my friends
are hellbent on
destroying me
take companions because I can’t
combat the lonely.

because I am a writer,
I must be good at fantasizing;
and every story I wrote about us,
every poem I wrote for him,
every back my nails scratched into
must make one hell of a map
back to an altered reality,
because none of those things
happened actually;

and if this life was a book,
I’d have already skimmed through to the ending.
wouldn’t waste time on exposition
and backstory.
I would look for dialogue
and every romantic scene.
I would be a plotline
fully developed
and there would be fanfic about
this life I lead.

So listen,
if MY life is really just a matter
of creating a made up hero
to keep me company,
if I’m writing about
or “pulling from” anybody,
let them be the love interest,
let them be the protagonist,
let them all resemble a character worth rooting for.

Let them be me.


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