“Learn how to love someone well
& don’t fuck it up.”
– Moriah Pearson
So start with loving yourself.
I’m tired of watching myself
as if from a crow’s nest
this girl’s who’s scared of
her own reflection.
She holds saucers with shaky hands
and guzzles down cups of insecuri-
I want to look at her and say:
learn to sigh your own name,
your full name, and listen as it catches the wind.
Listen as it guides ships from ports
and toward undiscovered islands
Discover that you are every bit as varied
as the grains of sand upon the shore.
Discover your reflection in the see-through blue water
and do not be shocked when you find that it is
Discover the feel of the sun on your skin and that
it is something else that makes you feel alive.”
I am tired of the looks of pity
from Kiana when she tells you:
“Even butterflies do not know
their own beauty.”
If it takes metamorphosis,
to transform a girl
into a goddess,
I will stay through the hibernation period,
just to watch you launch from
a cocoon of self-doubt
and second guessing.
You have called yourself
“Duff” for far too long
and I am sickened by the fact
you hate your own empathy.
You find it weak that you cannot
just flirt with anybody.
You find it weak
that love consumes you
and have sworn off becoming attached
because it cracks open
I know how you place yourself in shadow,
consider yourself “there” and let others’ lights encompass rooms
as you smile from the edges. I know you may not accept
that you draw people in and that what you consider darkness is what others consider a story
and you are full of so much
Start with realizing that loving
Start with realizing
that you should first be
with anyone else.
Start with realizing
that it’s okay to grow
Ivy must start as a seed
before climbing the trellis.
Start with loving
just how much a year can change.
And when you stand upon the shore,
with the waves of your island
lapping your toes,
I want you to know:
It’s all different,
you’re all different, and
I want you to learn
to sigh your own name,
your full name, and listen as it catches on the wind.
is only the beginning,
and it is
that you’re not the same.