Us: The Complexity

“Come Together” was playing on the radio

and you turned the dial.

I should have turned to look at your profile then,

though I’ve dreamt of it previously to the point

where I didn’t know the difference between memory, reality, and fantasy.

And it’s weird to me,

that I can’t remember exactly what you look like when you’re away,

but when I see you everything still falls into place.

So, so easily.

And the irony is, I can’t make you into the person I want you to be.

I know this now,

I’ve told myself over and over and it’s

better this way, I can only assume.

And I don’t really want you this way,

that is pretty much true.

I can’t make you make me

mixed CDs

and listen to music from the 80s and prior,

sing along with me to Motown.

I can’t make you dance with me,

admire me.

I can’t make you memorize me.

The way I’ve memorized you.

I can’t make you fall,

the way I did.

So, so hard.

But I can

make you smile still.

I can make you roll your eyes and laugh.

Sometimes hysterically.

I can make you want to fall asleep,

by trailing my fingers over your hand,

and you don’t tell me to shut up when I sing in your car.

So,

maybe it should not bother me when you don’t know it’s

Journey playing on the radio.

Maybe I should not find delight in the fact that I impress you

when I know what you’ve switched the radio to.

Yet you switch it to an R&B station and expect me not to dance with my hands.

I shouldn’t care that this annoys you.

But I don’t want to annoy you.

I’m scared you’ll tire of me again.

Though you say I don’t bore you.

I was just…”incomparable”;

too costly because you wouldn’t let me pay for a single meal.

I should apologize for wanting you in my life again.

Consistently,

at that.

That I want my best friend back.

I could lie and easily tell them I’m over you.

We both know that’s not true.

And yet,

there are things that I would one day want from you,

that you have given away

or cannot find means to compensate.

Because you turned the radio

when “Come Together” played,

and even though I am not a huge Beatles fan,

I have enough respect to let a classic play.

“I can turn you into poetry,

but I cannot make you love me.”

Trust me, when I say,

that whatever this is

is honestly okay.

And I’m not making up pretenses,

because being with you,

is good enough for me

for today.